Whatever happened to modesty and personal respect of oneself?

Whatever happened to modesty and personal respect of oneself? "Sexting" really? I have heard of this before, so no it's not new to me, but the part that I find most disturbing is that "in 2009 one in twenty teens (5%)  have used their phones in this way"(Trenholm 304). That was three years ago, and according to internetsafty101.org in 2011 "20% of teens have sent or posted nude or semi-nude photographs or videos of themselves." I guess the term sex sells has taken on a whole new meaning. Despite the fact that it's illegal, it's disgusting. As a society are we so in the "now" moment, that there is no consideration for our future? Is the teenage population so insecure with themselves that they feel the need to send naked pictures of themselves out into the world? Again, according to internetsafty101.org "44% of teens say it is common for sexually suggestive text messages to get shared with people other than the intended recipient". That's almost half of the teenagers surveyed, who inadvertently said they know of or have shared a photo that they knew they should not have.  The statistics are there for everyone to find, but no one  wants to admit to their kid doing it. If we as parents think this is wrong, and morally mortifying, why do today's teens have a common acceptance of it? Is the ease of access to media single handedly changing societies ideas of what is morally ok? I have sooo many questions and fears on this topic. I know the idea of naked pictures seems erotic, but the repercussions 5, 10, 15 years from now will be detrimental to someone's life.    

in between hot and cool

I do agree with the statement that "the format or logic of a medium is as important as its content and, in fact, determines what content will be broadcast through that channel" (Trenholm 291). If a message is only sent through the written word of newspapers, there is an entire demographic who will never know about the message. I guess it would depend on the intended recipient of the message. I agree with the book when it said that children expect things quick, to the point, and without the fluff. There is no patience in the up and coming voters of the next generation. They want just the "important" facts, and they want it at their fingertips yesterday.

 I don't truly understand his hot/cool theory, and how it pertains to TV.   I do agree that the "hard-edge" people usually don't last on the TV very long, unless they are extremely good news anchors and their following is the same personality type. Those who have the flair for the dramatic do well with talk shows and day-time-TV programming. There is a news channel in the Sacramento area who attempts to tell the news with a light and dramatic flair; however, personally I can't watch it very often for the fact that there is too much drama to get through to get the "real" news. I guess I fall in the between section of the hot and cool.

Cyber is a TOOL to maintain relationships, not to be used exclusivly

I have not created any cyber space relationships. I do not see the need for them. I don’t do online chat boards, or random chat rooms. Well, I guess I do have a cyber space relationship with the students in this class, but with the whole anonymous feature of this blog spot, at the end of the semester I am sure these relationships will end.  I do have a few relationships that are mostly through Facebook, but they all started on a face to face basis, and over many years we have moved to different parts of the world and we use Facebook to keep in touch and share pictures of our families.  These relationships are not exclusive to the cyber world, we also use the phone, and if by chance we are in the local area of each other, we stop to say hi.

I have a niece who thinks cyber relationships are the best. She has “friends” all over the world, but last summer she went on a road trip and tried to see her “friends” and she found out she did not have the relationship she thought they had. Face to face they did not get along as well as they did online.

Just another reason to not waste my time.

To lead or to follow

I found the term “opinion leaders” to be very interesting. The author of our book writes “If opinion leaders can be persuaded that a proposed change is good, they can influence others in their networks.” To me this would be group think and in my opinion a bad way to get change to happen. Yes, I understand it’s a fact of life that there are leaders and followers, but I don’t have to like the fact that companies and organizations use this to their advantage, and not always for the best wellbeing of the employees or members. I would consider myself an opinion leader, and I always have been. My mom calls me “the rescuer” because I tend to be the person my friends go to for help, and I am usually willing to give my opinion lol. I am a leader, and although I can be flexible, I am going to make sure my opinion is offered before I concede.  I feel that is part of what makes me a good leader.

If you would not play/say it to your grandmother then it should not be publicized.

Cell phones are so common today that most 10 year olds have them. I run a business on my cell phone, and try to answer it in a manner that portrays such an environment. But, there are times I leave my phone in the house (not always on purpose) and my kids will answer it. Most of the time people understand, but sometimes it confuses potential clients and I have to explain that I am a mobile business and run the business off my personal cell phone. I do hate when people call me and then ask to put me on hold, I usually hang up.

Answering machines are almost as ancient at typewriters. I guess if you are referring to the now common system of “voicemail”, I don’t know about everyone else’s system, but I check mine regularly and I have never had any complaints about the machine cutting off messages.  I prefer messages that are direct and to the point, in a message I don’t need the commentary. “Leave your name, number (repeat at least once), and why you are calling”

I don’t do many conference calls, and when I do they are usually with my kids ;-). So I don’t have much to say about them. My biggest pet peeve is when people don’t speak loud enough for the microphone to pick up their voice and it sounds like a broken or scratched CD.

I have a fax machine, and I hate random faxes that waste my paper and ink to tell me about a random cruise line that I will never go on. I totally agree with the etiquette page when it says to call ahead and ask if it is ok to send the fax!

Timing is everything. Because my personal cell phone is also my business line, it is listed in the phonebook, on Google, and many other websites. I don’t mind calls that are legitimately urgent, but sales calls and telemarketing calls need to stay between 10:00am and 5:00pm, any later and they are twice as annoying. If you are calling for my business services I would say etiquette would be to only call between 8:00am and 6:30pm unless it is urgently important. I usually take the calls that come in later in the evening, but I end up not being able to give the caller my full attention, as I am getting dinner on the table and helping with homework, and my other evening family activities.

Screen names and ring tones are always entertaining on my end. Because I am an ordained Reverend and perform wedding ceremonies my normal screen name is Rev Katey or some variation of this. I have a twitter account, facebook account, and utilize them almost daily. I tell my brides and grooms to find my accounts to see pictures of my weddings and stuff, but sometimes I wonder when I get “friend requests” from “Johns Bit__” how serious these girls are about themselves or their potential mates. The latest fad is the ring back tones; these are sometimes offensive with bad words and crude language. I know they are popular, but I don’t want to hear it. This goes for ringtones too, I understand its fun to personalize your phone and set a ringtone to your favorite song, but be aware of who is around you. It goes along with the music in your car… If I wanted to hear your music, I would get in your car with you. I hate being stuck next to someone in a line, or at a stoplight, and having to listen to foul or crude language in the popular music of today.

Why join, why bother

Organizations are tied to the environment in more ways than one. Not only are there organizations dedicated to replacing and/or improving the environment, but there are many environmental impacts that some organizations make.

I go to Sierra College and our school has many environmental clubs who dedicate many hours to not only improving our school landscaping but also to making the school process a positive environment to learn in. The smaller clubs within the school are like children to their parents. The school wants to make sure their students feel like they belong there, and are successful. People feel successful when they have a sense of belonging. Sierra College has many partnerships within the community to help students get jobs close to school, and a career center on campus to make access to those job postings easily accessible to students. The sports program relies on community support to purchase tickets, and concessions to help funding the sports clubs.  Although I have some reservations with the issue of schools teaching morals to students, the school has the unwritten obligation to produce “pillars of the community”. I personally think morals should be taught to kids by their parents many years prior to children attending school, but I know unfortunately some children are not fortunate enough to have the opportunity to learn morals in their home.

There are some organizations that advocate teaching morals to young people such as the Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts with their motto of “Do your best” and “Be prepared”. A lot of church organizations and clubs make a point of teaching positive morals to young people.

People join clubs and organizations for many personals reasons. Some join for religious reasons, others for personal enjoyment, but as adults we tend to join clubs at are personal discretion.  

With this ring

The concept I found interesting is Intimacy Trophies. My husband and I have wedding bands, but rarely wear them. It’s not about the material things, it’s about the love and respect we share. I sometimes wear his jacket, but not as a symbol of anything, but because it was probably easier to get to, and I was too lazy to go get my jacket. It’s all about the trust. We have one rule “don’t cheat”. It’s not a hard rule to live by, but knowing we trust each other makes it easier. We don’t have a song, or restaurant, but we do have our memories. I watch my parent’s generation who cling onto material things, you would never catch my parents without their wedding bands, and then I’ve noticed the latest trend if getting tattoo rings vs. the traditional gold wedding bands. The ideas of intimacy trophies changes over the years, but in the end it’s all about the trust that you and your partner have.

Treat those around you as you would want to be treated

I think a complementary pattern would be the hardest to change. There is a circle to life and I know my grandmother HATES the idea of having to move out of her house and in with my parents or one of us grandchildren. The idea that she would have to let one of us take care of her like a child mortifies her. When people take on a role and live it for an extended period of time, changing roles is difficult. Humans are creatures of habit, and although habits can be changed, we have to work very hard to change them.

I think the complementary would be the worst for a romantic relationship, or any friendship relationship. Relationships are about compromise and sharing. If one person was in the one-up position in a friendship it would not be a true friendship. If the person in the one-up position did not belittle the other person I don’t think there is a self esteem problem; however, if the person in the one-up position took advantage of the situation, and treated the person in the one-down position as less then they deserved, then yes, it could be potentially damaging to ones self-esteem.

once upon a time

When I was single (Yes I can remember that far back lol) I was looking for stability. The good looking cocky guys were fun to party with, but when it came down to it, it was all about the stability and respect. I will tell the story of the night I fell in love with my husband. I had gone on a road trip with my best friend to visit her boyfriend in Utah. One night we went dancing with some of his buddies, and to be honest I was WAY TOO intoxicated for my own good.  A friend and one of his buddies drove me back to my hotel and walked me to my room. Knowing that my best friend was staying with her boyfriend, and I would be alone, the buddy politely asked if he could sleep on the couch and make sure I was ok. The entire night he laid next to me and held my hand while we talked, he never once made an inappropriate move. He knew I was drunk and showed complete respect and restraint. The next day all I could think about was the respect he had for me. We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out and talking, and he opened every door for me, while the only move he made all weekend was holding my hand. When it was time to go, I was hooked, but had to return to work and the real world. Six weeks later we eloped, and have been happily married ever since.

To me the unattractive people are the ones who think they are better than everyone else. If you can’t be nice to everyone, that is ugly. I try to be nice to everyone, and treat everyone with respect until they prove to me that they don’t deserve my respect. Once the respect is lost, I’m not sure I ever truly give it back. Yes, Duck’s theory makes since to me. Even in my friendship choices I try to give everyone the benefit of a positive outlook, but it usually only takes a few minutes for me to decide if the person is honest or full of poopoo. Once I make a decision, it is rare for me to change my mind.